control

Control. You may remember me talking about it before. I have always found control to be comforting. But lack of control? I hate it. So what about the idea of voluntarily giving up control to God? It's extremely difficult for me. However, I have made the choice to do it. It is my act of worship to the God I profess faith in. Giving my control to Him has taught me a lot; most importantly it has taught me that I was never in control in the first place. My control is an illusion. The harder I try to hold on to that illusion, the more it unravels.

Hello, my name is Kimberly, and I am a control freak. I have gotten better about it over time, but I still enjoy having control and I still dislike the feeling of being out of control. It's part of who I am, my personality, it's how God made me; but even with all that said, I cannot use that as an excuse to steadfastly hold on to my control at the expense of God's will. It is that balance that I have always had a hard time maintaining.